What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize