Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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