you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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