So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
