My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
