i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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