Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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