Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
