did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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