My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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