Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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