im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
