He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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