Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
