I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
