How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
