i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
