remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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