I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
