New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
