Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
