he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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