Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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