Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
