Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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