WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
