Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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