That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
