Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
