im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
