she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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