She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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