my vag is so smooth its legendary
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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