I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
