ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
