Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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