I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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