I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
