I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
