I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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