what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
