so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
