Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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