I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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