On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
