he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We smell like vodka and hangover
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