I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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