he told me I talked like a deaf person
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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