CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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