I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just fell off a train. Bad.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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