I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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