Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
