Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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