Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
