I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
