I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize