i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
