We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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