She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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