It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
