yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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