Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
