apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
