paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I should be sponsored by Trojan
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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