so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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