Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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