Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
