Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
