Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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