Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize