It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
